Beautiful Suicidal

Monday, April 14, 2008

its 0603am right now,
and im still outside.
at someone's house.

thanks to this person,
im out of somewhere,
between eunos and bedok,
that area.

woots.

i was kinda pathetic,
i missed the last bus,
den the last train.
and i did not brought,
money out!.

so yups no cab for me.

slacked until quite late,
alone at the mrt station.

den later on i was,
talking on the phone and started.
smoking like nobody's,
business as if they are,
free of charge man.

at the same time,
i was walking aimlessly.
den when the moment,
i lost my speech thru the phone,
i was where i dont,
wish to be anymore.

my tears was about,
to drop at that part of time.

the answer given to me,
seriously wasnt conceiving,
at all.

but forget it.
since now eu and me got nothing,
to do with each other anymore.

since the day eu noe me,
i have been stubborn,
and same goes right now.

and i dont care about,
eur feelings,
when eu dont care about mine.

* so mr gonna be.
if eu'r not able to take my,
stubborn`ess ,
and if eu'r not able,
to care about my feelings,
den i guess,
we should remain the,
way we are right now.

gosh im seriously,
lack of sleep.
its 6.31am
already.

and im still at someone's house,
which is like so far from school,
and i still have to go home,
to bathe change,
and head to school.

gosh i need to wake,
that pig up orelse i will,
seriously be LATE!.

BYE

i will update later.

im still the f`k cheerful.
ROLANDKELLIE.
__________________

*this post is jumppy

im back from school,
gosh imagine i haven,
sleep and eat for like,
exact two days.

my last meal was like,
with my sis-in-law.
and nothing else after that.

hahas,
not i dont wanna eat,
it is because whatever,
i take in,
its just make me puke.
yah so i rather not eating.

gosh.

and yah my saliva,
is seriously gosh,
horrible.

its like foam,
pure white and bubbles.
some people should,
understand what im saying,

and its not because,
i didnt have enough,
water lah.
i drunk like omg alot.

on the way to school,
i started to feel,
darn unwell.

whenever i puke,
i puke out foam!.
was rather late for school.

saw my classmates.
huggies..

joelyn was the first,
one to run over to give,
me a very very nice hug,
den sharalyn,
and continued with,
the rest over there,
after everyone,
i had another hug,
from sharalyn.
=}

slacked and yah,
talked about things,
and seriously i have stm,
and i have been,
typing wrong stuffs,
in sms or my blog,
or say things that,
i dont noe what im saying.

f`k man.
whats wrong with me.

they had to go back,
for class.
and i went for BL.
awhile later,
i had break time again.

and the class i was taking,
is really nice.
=}

thanks they helped me alot,
and they noticed that,
i suddenly turn shagged,
after the first break.

hahas.

finished BL like about 2plus.
but we still had to stay back,
for some briefing.
and yah.
stayed for quite long,
at cafe1 until i decided,
to go the training centre.
went there to slack.

after that went out to,
whuwhu with cheehao.
and went back inside,
i rushed to the toilet.

to puke and seriously,
i almost fainted.
like what the f`k.

because after puking,
i stood up,
and suddenly,
i had this pressure,
in my ears.
den i dont feel my,
hand or leg no more.
and i fall back to,
the f`king door.

and yah sat down.
gosh.
the bang was rather loud,
and BL from dont noe,
which school shouted,
at me asking was i okae.
and kept banging on the door.

i was seriously,
to weak to reply.
so i just kept silent,
until i feel much better.

i went out.
they was like,
what happen.
i think i replied them,
erm.. nothing dropped,
my bag or something.

den went to training centre,
once again to find joelyn.
just nice they ended class.

so yah we went outside,
of school saw cheehao,
and he was whuwhu`ing.
so waited.

and the was went,
i seriously feel very very,
very unwell.
i was having cold sweat,
that serious,
until gosh my face was,
filled with it.

joelyn was pretty nice,
kept asking whether,
i wanna drink water,
if i want she will,
go back school to buy.
but i didnt want.

thanks again ah joe.

and cheehao said.
my face turned pale.
LOLs.

almost puked on the,
31 bus once it started moving.

gosh. kept quiet,
and tried not to,
move much.

took 969 home,
the queue was long,
so i was like,
standing, squating,
and leaning.

once i got up the bus,
i took a sit and napped.

but the moment i reach,
kathib or yishun,
i woke up,
and i alighted to puke.
f`k.

took cab home,
threw my bag,
at the door step,
and went to the toilet,
puked and bathe.

and now im sitting down,
infront of the com,
chatting and blogging.
with my half open eyes.
and now my hair,
is dry so i gonna go sleep.
=}

anyway before i sleep,
i need to say this,
i think today is seriously,
not my day.

i bite my cheeks twice,
the same spot.
in the afternoon,
when i was with sharalyn,
and the others.
and now the third time,
still the f`king same spot!>

im darn suay lah today!>

tatas.

ROLANDKELLIE IS FINE!.

* CaN Euu PlEasE rEspEcT mY PrIvaCy-