Beautiful Suicidal

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

im feeling darn down;
* looked left *

tried to talk but;
cause of some reasons;
i shut myself;

tot of having another cut;
but i promise not to;
wonder how long;
could i keep this promise;
but it wont last long;

][ in school ][

chatted with joey;
abt some stuffs;
erm, lets hope the person;
do have the mind of her soon;

bell rang;
it was like erm,;
a little late;

jazlyn called;
checking whether am i in sch;
erm, im such a good girl;
of course im in sch;

assembly was real long;
had talks abt donation card;
prize presention;
and morning devotion!;
its darn long;
mr ang kept talking;

finally he ended;
stood up;
omg, pain!;
* looked down *

had to go to the hall;
for some GCE talk;
by ms foo;
the vice- principle;

she was real nice at first;
but my classmate provoked her;
she screwed my class!;

infront of others;
wat the!;
* looked right *

half way through;
the talk;
* looked down *
it hurts again;

every class left the hall;
except for mine;
had a long talk;
with ms foo;

she said sorry;
and talked very nicely to us;
she kept staring at me;
and the guy infront of me;

whenever that guy look down;
she will just stare at me;
whenever both of us look down;
she will look around;
till we look up;

finally could get back to our class;
ms foo followed ask back;

pauline came right towards me;
told me some stuffs;
erm, please don think so much la;

everyone was looking;
ms foo continued;
a little in class;
den left;

went recess;
ate with my mouth shut;
erm, was real down;

went to slack;
gave sacas remarks;
headed back to class;

pauline told me;
shes not gonna do her dnt anymore;
* screamed *

went out to talk;
she was in some relationship problems;
talked for quite long;

went back to class;
was unable to get in;
teacher closed the front door;
got pissed;
went from the back;
* looked left *

slept through out chemistry;
was shocked;
and had flash back!;
* fark *

it turns my mood worse;
having maths;
mr lim wasnt around;
but still had test;
* looked down *

test wasnt that hard;
* looked up *
left early;

accompany jazlyn to remedial;
the paper was wat i did last year;

][ outside school ][

clouds was all dark;
but i don feel like goin home;
just wanna be alone;

went somewhere;
hid my bag and stuffs;
played under the cold rain!;
felt so good;
if only the rain didnt stop;

stood at the stairs;
daze alot;
but whenever theres wind;
i will just sit;

it hurts again;
* looked down *

felt so being used;
wondering wats frenship;
is it that hard to maintain it;

people have been asking me to;
cheer up;
cool down;
forget it;

replies to them
tell me how;
show me how;
teach me how;

just had a cold bath;
its darn cold;
but this is how i think;
could free my tots;

gonna go out at late nite;
so im gonna have my nap!;
now now now!;

take care

* CaN Euu PlEasE rEspEcT mY PrIvaCy-